Hello me again 🙂
I have not self harmed in 3 whole months and even 3 months ago, that was only a small amount of self-harm before that it was the end of 2016. I feel I am on the way to overcoming self-harm. It is a battle each day to ignore the urges and to be positive instead of thinking of all of the reasons to self-harm and all the negative thoughts, to be honest I wished I never began but back then it was my way of coping with difficult situations and that was back in 2008 when I was 18 when I hated residential at college I didn’t know what to do so I scratched or cut myself every evening for hours after college I just did it at any chance I had and it just continued for years. I have used it as a coping mechanism but I don’t think it helps me cope in the past couple of years or even ever just got me more scars it just got me feeling more low and depressed. I have even recently not gone out with long sleeved t-shirts and cardigans covering my arms like I have done the past 9 years. I don’t care who stares at me in the end I just want to feel happy and my scars are turning white after all this time 3-4 years ago they were red angry scars. I was admitted to hospital in 2011 due to mental health deterioration and my self-harm is what was concentrated on a lot and when I came out in the community the first year was hard living with somebody I did not want to live with, and ended up in a&e twice having stitches. Its been onwards and upwards recently and I have a supportive staff team in supported living who don’t want me to self harm, also I don’t have many awful days anymore so my self-harming ‘thoughts are not around as much.